Orenchi no Furo Jijou Valentine's Day
by Seijiro Dazai
Summary: Wakasa wants to make chocolates for Tatsumi for Valentine's Day, but how can he do it if he can't leave the tub? PS I don't own OFJ.


It was the Monday before Valentine's Day. Tatsumi was in the bathroom, eating dinner with Wakasa as he always did. Tonight, however, his usually talkative friend was strangely silent, not bugging Tatsumi about his day or complaining about having to eat vegetables. He seemed to have something on his mind he was waiting to tell Tatsumi and the black-haired man was getting a little suspicious.

"Wakasa, what's wrong?" he asked.

It was as if he had pulled the cork out of an exceptionally fizzy bottle of champagne. Immediately Wakasa started thrashing around in the bath, a blush rising into his cheeks.

"Tatsumi, I want to make chocolates for Valentine's Day!" he suddenly burst out.

Tatsumi narrowed his amber-colored eyes.

"Oh, is that all?" he replied. Of course Wakasa would get worked up over something like that. He watched too much TV, and was always confusing it with the real world.

"I'm serious!" Wakasa complained, sensing his friend was blowing him off.

Tatsumi sighed. He did want to keep Wakasa happy, but…

"I'm not sure how we could make that work, since you can't get to the kitchen without drying out," he explained.

Wakasa looked crushed. Evidently he hadn't been thinking about his own physical limitations.

"I can get you chocolates at the store if you want," Tatsumi suggested, trying to raise Wakasa's spirits. It didn't work. The blond sunk down into the bath, depressed.

"That's okay," he mumbled.

Tatsumi shot him a backward glance as he took the dishes away, wondering what was troubling him. He knew Wakasa loved candy–Halloween had taught him that much–so why had he looked so downcast at Tatsumi's offer of chocolate from the store?

A few days later when he brought Wakasa's dinner into the bathroom the blond was splashing the water around in the tub, hardly able to contain his excitement.

"An induction cooker!" he exclaimed when Tatsumi raised an eyebrow to ask what he was so excited about.

"What?" asked Tatsumi, having forgotten their previous conversation.

Wakasa proudly held up one of the magazines Tatsumi had brought him to fill the long empty hours when Tatsumi was at work.

"An induction cooker!" he repeated enthusiastically. Tatsumi internally rolled his eyes and said, _yes, I can see that's a picture of an induction cooker, but why are you showing it to me?_ Instead of being sarcastic with his friend, he, too, repeated himself.

"What?"

"You can put it in the bathroom!" Wakasa explained with the excitement levels of a four-year-old, shaking the magazine at Tatsumi.

"I guess so," replied Tatsumi, still not seeing where his friend was going.

"So we can make chocolate for Valentine's Day!" Wakasa said, proudly going for the big reveal.

 _Oh,_ thought Tatsumi, _that's right, I remember he wanted to do that_. Usually Wakasa relied on Tatsumi for even the smallest things, so he was impressed with Wakasa for doing the research to find out how to make his chocolate-making dreams come true despite his limitations. He took the magazine Wakasa proffered and checked out the induction cooker shown on the page.

"I don't know," he said, "it looks kind of expensive."

"It says here that induction cookers are more energy-efficient," Wakasa appealed, knowing what would convince Tatsumi.

 _I guess it's not that expensive_ , Tatsumi thought, _and an induction cooker might be a good thing to have_. He was well aware that he spoiled Wakasa, but he liked to see the merman happy. So when Wakasa pleaded,

"Can we get it? Please, Tatsumi."

He said, "Okay."

"Yay!" and a hurricane of happy splashing was the immediate reaction. Tatsumi gave his friend his characteristically small smile and planned to buy the cooker the very next day.

When he returned from shopping after work the next day, the bathroom was a hive of planning. Wakasa had summoned in the troops and the four friends were pouring over his store of magazines and manga in search of Valentine's Day and chocolate-related intel.

"Hey Tatsumi!" said Takasu, waving at him to join them.

"Welcome home," added Mikuni in his quiet voice.

"Welcome Takasu, Mikuni," Tatsumi replied.

"I don't even know why I'm here," a small voice piped up depressedly, "I don't think I'd be any good at making chocolate."

"Welcome to you too, Maki," Tatsumi added, pulling back a magazine page to reveal the snail merman beneath it.

"Tatsumi!" exclaimed Wakasa, finally noticing his black-haired friend. He splashed up to the front of the tub and gripped the rim with both hands, his eyes wide. "Did you get it?"

Tatsumi held up the shopping bag containing the cooker and Wakasa's eyes lit up.

"Thank you Tatsumi!" he shouted, reaching out to hug his friend tightly.

"Wakasa," gasped out Tatsumi.

"Yes, Tatsumi?" asked Wakasa, his face a picture of innocence.

"I can't breathe."

Wakasa immediately let go of him, looking horrified. He had forgotten his own strength again. His horror didn't last long, however, as he was quickly distracted by his delight in Tatsumi's purchase. He pulled the induction cooker box out of the bag and set about opening it.

"Look at it," he exclaimed, holding it up for all to see. Then his face turned sheepish, "Um, Tatsumi, how do I make it work?"

Tatsumi chuckled to himself. Of course Wakasa, who didn't even know how to use the phone, wouldn't know how an induction cooker worked.

"I need to put in the batteries first," he said, taking the cooker from his blond friend and opening up the bottom to put in the batteries he had bought. "And it comes with a special pot you use."

He demonstrated how the induction cooker worked by boiling water while Wakasa watched, wide-eyed and riveted. Tatsumi always felt a little joy at showing Wakasa how to do something because of how excited the merman looked. No matter how inexperienced Tatsumi really was, Wakasa always made him feel like an expert. Next he let Wakasa have a try, keeping his eyes on him and admonishing him to be careful. It would be bad news if the cooker fell into the bath, after all.

Later, after their guests were gone, Tatsumi thought of the reason Wakasa had asked for the induction cooker in the first place and said,

"Wakasa, I know you want to make chocolates for Valentine's Day tomorrow. I have to work during the day, but we can make some in the evening when I get back, okay?"

Wakasa nodded enthusiastically and said,

"I can't wait!"

 _What do you buy when you're making chocolate?_ Tatsumi wondered the next day at work. He had made chocolate on Valentine's Day before, with his family, but his parents had always bought all the ingredients. As a guy he hadn't worried about having to make chocolate later in life, so he had never gotten too involved in the chocolate-making process. Just to be safe, he bought a couple kinds of chocolate, some sugar, and some sweets to mix in. As soon as he was done, he hurried home. He knew Wakasa got worried when he was away at work, and today the blond would be anxiously waiting for his return, excited for their Valentine's Day plans.

When he unlocked his door and stepped into the entrance hallway, he could hear a commotion from the bathroom.

"I'm home!" he called, assuming Wakasa's friends had come over again. He heard loud shushing and then silence. _That's strange,_ he thought, _usually those guys can't shut up._ He took off his shoes and went to open the bathroom door.

"Surprise!" shouted Wakasa happily, and surprise was exactly right. The bathroom was covered in chocolate: it was in the tub, on the shower and all over the floor. The induction cooker was sitting off to the side, and on the table where it had been were the pile of assorted chocolates Wakasa was beaming over.

"We decided to make some chocolates for you while you were at work," Wakasa explained. "We wanted to thank you for how nice you've been to us."

"I brought hot chocolate powder to put in the bath, but it got splashed all around the room," apologized Mikuni.

"He started it," said Wakasa, putting on his most innocent face and pushing the blame onto Takasu. Tatsumi gave Wakasa a look, knowing he had been just as involved.

"I know my chocolate's probably the worst, but I hope you can find it in your heart to try it," added Maki depressedly. He pushed forward a chocolate from the back the the pile, it was the exact shape and size of his shell.

"Wow," said Tatsumi, picking it up and looking closely at it. "That's really impressive, Maki. I had no idea you were so good at sculpture."

"Is that . . . is that a compliment? No, I'm sure my chocolate's not worthy of your kind words," Maki replied nervously.

Tatsumi bit off the top of the shell. _Oh,_ he thought, _I don't think there's any sugar in here_. Maki saw the look on his face and immediately assumed the worst,

"I knew it, my chocolate's no good," he said, retreating into his shell.

"Try mine instead!" exclaimed Takasu, showcasing perfect octopus-shaped chocolates.

"Takasu used his legendary dexterity to make them," Wakasa explained. Tatsumi took one, and bit off a couple legs.

"Mm!" he remarked instantly, "that's good!" Takasu smiled proudly.

"Tatsumi, Tatsumi, try mine next!" said Wakasa, wanting to take his friend's place in Tatsumi's favor.

Wakasa's chocolates were misshapen hearts.

"They're to show my gratitude for letting me stay here, and being my friend," he explained. "Won't you accept them?"

"It's a little weird to get chocolates from a guy," said Tatsumi hesitantly, blushing, "but thank you."

Wakasa swooned with happiness.

"I bought some stuff to make chocolate too," Tatsumi mentioned, holding up his bag.

"Yay!" smiled Wakasa ebulliently. "I'm so happy I get to make chocolate with you, Tatsumi," he added more seriously, "Happy Valentine's Day!"

"Happy Valentine's Day to you to, Wakasa," Tatsumi muttered in reply, embarrassed but secretly happy.


End file.
